"Let me look at you.” He kept saying this over and over, and would not stop shaking my hand."Grandpa, give Charles a seat,” Celia said, breaking us up. I sat across the table from him, and Celia sat next to me, her legs crossed. I enjoyed our proximity in a way I shouldn’t have. The deck appeared rundown, paint peeling and wood splintering around us, but it was enclosed and insulated from the cold, and the furniture was comfortable and free of wear. Through the glass enclosure there was a beautiful view of the old, dark oak trees that peopled the property."I'm sorry," Grandpa said, sitting again. "I got carried away. You don't know what it means for all of us that you're here. Your poor mother and father! We hadn't seen them in so long, and when we heard the news—"“I'm sure they would be happy to know how much they meant to you still after all these years."Grandpa wiped his eyes and cleaned his spectacles. "It was a damned fool thing, the argument that sent your parents out of here.. My father ruled the house. My upbringing was very controlled and structured. I assume this played some role in me being attracted to older dominant men. I think my upbringing normalized it in my subconscious mind.Bryan began discussing with me his desire for command, control, and obedience. Over and over he would discuss complete command, complete control, and complete obedience. He discussed his expectations including my failures to meet his standard would result in punishment. As in the past, when Bryan’s talked, he just told me what was going to happen he did not offer me a choice in the matter. He talked for great length about what each of the categories meant and how my failures would be dealt with. He expected total devotion.One night, he brought a framed sheet of paper which he mounted on the wall right below where my whip was mounted on the wall just outside my bedroom. He placed it at eye-level as if I was kneeling facing the wall. He had been teaching me the proper.
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